Apart

I will never be able to describe the love that a father has for his daughter.

It is impossible to pen the words.  You just can’t adequately express the passion and love you feel for them.

Sometimes, I will lay awake at night and just rub on your arms.  Your Mom might be holding you or you might be laying by my side…and sleeping…so peacefully.

I rub your arms and I pray.  Pray for your safety, pray for God’s guidance, pray for your health, pray for you to experience more love than pain….so many different things.   You don’t tell me that you love me, yet.  I can tell you do.  Each day, I pull up to Gigi’s and you are in the window screaming for me or Gigi carries you into the kitchen when I open the door and you flail your arms about.

….and you squeal…like there is no tomorrow….

You hug me, you reach for me…that’s how I know you love me.  Because that is the same thing I do to you at night.

We don’t do much, but we go everywhere together.  When I close the door, you cry.  When you close the door, I shudder.  When I put you down, you cry.  When you run off, I wonder when you will come back.  You love to be in my lap, but not as much as I love to have you in my lap.  You love to get in bed and snuggle up beside me, but not as much as I love to feel you touching me.

I can’t wait to pick you up each day.

It is amazing watching you grow.  You are becoming bigger, stronger, and tougher.  Avaleigh, you won’t cry.  You might throw a fit when we take away a movie case, but I can spank your tail and you won’t shed a tear.  Five minutes later, you will be wrapped around my neck trying to love on me….and I on you.  We can’t resist each other….none of us.

Lindley, you are so strong. You have this strong will that scares me. Not because I don’t want you to have it, but because I don’t want to break it and I still want to keep the peace.

Which makes the day we became apart my biggest nightmare….

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.”

I love you, girls.