It’s taken nearly two months. The absence wasn’t because I haven’t wanted to write to you, but I just couldn’t find the words and I’ve been working on finding a way to put my thoughts and words down…to where they made sense to you.
Since Avaleigh was born, I’ve been having this tug at my heart. I didn’t know what was really going on, but I was fighting myself to be a better person…to be a better Dad.
Lindley, you are God’s beauty in human form. Your sister’s birth woke up my spirit and shook me to my soul. Your birth showed me everything that I wasn’t. Your birth, the moments I spent with you after birth…
I recall the day (night, actually)….I recall the very moment. The conversation is still so vivid.
I heard God. I heard what he said, I heard what I needed to do. That day, I knew that as your father it was my responsibility to put you in a position to hear God’s word. For me to be the perfect Dad, I had to take you back to where you just came from…Heaven. I started looking the day we came home for a church home. I found one. I spent a lot of time looking and I found a place we can call our home. I feel more at peace than I ever have.
On my first visit, in a voice as plan as day….
God told me that he remembered me…
He knew I would come back. He was right…I am coming back and I intend to bring his gifts with me. His gift to me is our family. All of us…
July 26th, 2015. Thirty-eight years old…constantly telling myself how amazed I am at life….I finally realized I couldn’t do it alone and I asked God to save me. This time, for real. Not that time we do as kids because someone else in my family does it…but because I heard God tell me to come to him.
I’ve always believed, I’ve always been a spiritual person…but I’m a broken person. For the two of you, I asked God to fix me…to help me be the man you need in your life.
Dad of Girls 