I Wish You Knew…

Dear Lindley,

“You are Blood of My Blood, and Bone of my Bone.”

I wish I knew the color of your hair.  I wish I knew the color of your eyes.  I wish I knew the color of your skin.

I wish I knew your smell, your look, your smile.

I wish I knew the sound of your laugh.  I  wish I knew what your first words would be.

I wish I knew how good I would be at being your Daddy.  I wish I knew how I was going to be at raising two girls.  I wish I knew how to raise two girls.

I wish I knew how to teach you to read.  I wish I knew how long to spend on teaching you to read. I wish I knew how to teach you math.

I wish I knew that you were going to be o.k. during birth. I wish I knew that your Mom was going to be o.k. during birth.   I wish I knew if you were going to be o.k. in this thing we call life.  I wish I knew that you were going to successful…in whatever terms we come up with for success.

I wish you wouldn’t ever hurt.  I wish you wouldn’t ever be made to cry.  I wish I knew how to take away the hurt you will experience and make it my own.

I wish I knew what the future holds for us….

But mostly, I wish you knew how much I already love you.