Papa Passed Away :(

Girls,

I’m 38 years old and I feel blessed to say that I, until two weeks ago today, had one set of grandparents alive. I hope one day you can say the same. 

Two weeks ago, Papa passed away. It was one of the best and worst moments of my life. Let me tell you why….

There is a Bible verse that I love. It is Job 1:21. This verse says,”The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh, blessed be the name of the Lord.” Here is what it means to me…

Papa was so much to me. He was a friend. When I was growing up, I knew that if I ever needed someone to call and help that he was the one to call. He wouldn’t pass judgement and he wouldn’t lecture, but he would make sure I got the help I needed. Lecturing was someone else’s job to do, providing security and comfort was his job to do. Just like a friend…

He was a role model. Girls, your Papa was far from perfect. He had a rough upbringing and lived a rough life. For the longest, he was afraid to let anyone love him besides his boys (Uncle D and me). He ran around, smoked, probably drank too much in his younger days, and probably could have been more honest. I know you are thinking,” Damn, how exactly was he a role model?” There was a few ways I would argue that he was a role model. He was the first person (outside of my parents) that showed me what love looked like. All of my life, I held him in such high regards because of how he treated us. He took such good care of me and always tried to be around when he could. I spent most of my youth thinking he walked on water, but I found out later he was more amazed with me than i was with him. 

He was a father, he was a friend, he was a provider….

Papa was a provider for many people, not just those in his family. I remember when I was young and we saw a hitchhiker on the side of the road. I was scared to death when Papa pulled over and picked him up. Papa asked him if he needed a ride and a meal and the person said yes. Papa also asked him if he needed trouble. This guy gave him a weird look. The hitchhiker said,” No, I don’t need trouble.” Papa said,” If you do something stupid, you are going to get trouble.” Papa then proceeded to let him ride and pulled over and bought him a meal. He would literally take the shirt off his back to help.

He was a grandfather. To me, that was his best role. Love, guidance, friendship, mentor, fun, more fun…all of this was wrapped into one. He let me drive his truck. He taught me funny songs that were dirty. He took me fishing. 

All of these things that I have mentioned, they are only the first part of that verse. There is a second part, the part that people typically don’t want to acknowledge. That part, the Lord taketh away, is exactly what happened two weeks ago. 

But when you look at all the things he was vs. him being taken away, we were given so much for 85 years. There was such a significant time that we were blessed to have him, now that God has seen fit to take him home we shouldn’t complain. Rather, we should count our blessings, remember what we were given, and give thanks. The hardest thing to do isn’t to lose someone, it is learning to live without them. Remembering and focusing on the gifts that God provided us with them is the best way to live without them. Girls, I hope I am to you what he was to me…an ordinary hero. 

He had silver in his hair, but gold in his heart. 

There are so many stories that I have to tell you later about him; they are all filled and they all end in the same place…with love. 

No matter if I am here or not, you will always be loved by me.

I love you today, tomorrow, and forever,
Daddy