Had someone told me that I was going to have two girls when your mother and I got married, I would have been fine with it.
If I could be given a choice two years later, I don’t know if I could have picked you to be girls. It harder than it should be and way too unfair.
The past couple of weeks, there has been a lot of troubling news. A kid who came from wealth and went to Stanford raped a girl….wait, it was worse than rape. This monster did some of the worst things you can imagine to this poor girl. It was sickening. His punishment?
6 months….6. Damn. Months.
You hear people talk about girls who were raped say things like “look at what she was wearing”, “she shouldn’t have drank that much”, or “why did she put herself in that position”?
Let me be clear…what you are wear, how much you drink, or attending a party does not give someone the right to rape you or think it is ok to treat you in a certain manner.
Understand this….you, as a young lady, need to consider the position you are putting yourself when you do some of the things that I mentioned earlier. First, don’t dress skimpy or slutty. Just don’t. That brings the wrong kind of attention to you. It’s not cute. It’s also not an invitation to be raped. Dress the way you want to be viewed. This, my girls, has nothing to do with rape. It has more to do with class.
I hate that society says that because you dress “sexy” that you are a slut. It is what it is.
As a man speaking to young women, please know this. Your clothes shouldn’t determine how sexy you feel. “Sexy” comes from way more than clothes, but clothes probably come first for those who rely on sex and who are insecure in themselves as a person (or just lack enough skills to rely on things such as personality). I think that if you want a man to think you are sexy, you need to leave something to his imagination. As sick as it seems, most men will look at how you are dressed and if you are dressed “sexy”, they think you are dressed for sex. IT’S NOT RIGHT, I KNOW. Racism, hate, and violence aren’t right, either. But they exist. Girls, the world isn’t right.
Drinking and partying are something that you are going to do. Both of your parents did it, but I only overdid it, once. On January 1, 1995, I had the worst hangover known to man. It was the only hangover I have ever had. It was the only time I have ever been so drunk I vomited. Don’t go there. Always, always, always keep your senses about you. When you lose your senses, you become very vulnerable. Sadly, you are going to have to be aware of your surroundings. If you can, have a drink with a lid on it. Once you become incapacitated, you are at risk. Becoming incapacitated is your fault, the risk you are at is someone else’s sickness. But that risk is very real…
Watch out for other girls and have them watch out for you. My friends and I did the same thing when we were growing up. I can’t count the number of times I was a DD or the times I had a girlfriend (friend who was a girl) that I pulled aside and said, “You don’t really want to go home with him tonight. Play hard to get and see if you are interested tomorrow.” Some listen, some don’t. But always surround yourself with those who will look out for you.
Just be smart and use some common sense. You have to think ahead and you must plan for your safety. Crazy, huh? Sad, huh? True? Damn right.
Let me be perfectly clear. If something does happen to you, justice better be served. If I was the father of this girl whose predator got six months, I assure the second sentence handed down by a judge would be to me and it would be for a much longer period than 6 months. Much, much longer.
Carry yourself with class, remember that enough is probably too much, and Dad will always worry about you.
Dad of Girls 