Dear Avaleigh,
Wow.
I am overwhelmed with emotions. That’s just how I feel. Words can’t explain it, but I want to try.
Your birth was unlike anything I could have expected. Seeing the love of my life in labor for 15 hours (5 of those without any painkiller), vomiting the last 10, seeing you being born….it was all…..well….almost horrific.
Your Mom was hurting. She was in so much pain because of an accident with her epidural. It really pissed me off, Avaleigh. I felt robbed. All I ever heard was how great the birth process was and it didn’t feel like that to me. It was ugly, painful. Although it sounds selfish, I felt like I had something taken away from me.
Well, until I saw you. I tear up when I think about the doctor telling me you had red hair. I ran out into the hallway. I just wanted to tell my Mom. I thought that was the best thing ever!
When you came out and they placed you on your Mom, I was so humbled by your presence that I literally wanted to crawl under a chair and hide. I didn’t feel worthy to be in your presence. You were so pure and so beautiful that I didn’t hold you. I was convinced, somehow, that I would mess you up if I did. All I can remember was looking at you and thinking that no one deserves all the blessing that I have…that no one deserves to be so lucky. I remember holding you for the first time. I was amazed at how something so light (7.5 pds) could feel so heavy. The weight of the situation was overwhelming.
There is actually a picture of our first touch. The emotion that I felt at that moment was something that I didn’t think was possible. I’ve never felt so strongly about something and I still don’t know how to say it. Avaleigh, it isn’t love. It’s more than that. It’s stronger….
for I am blessed…no one deserves to be this lucky.
I’ve wanted so long to be a father. I have waited for years and I’ve dreamed of it for nine months. Now, I just want to spend the rest of my life being your Dad. It seems as if nothing else even matters anymore.
My promise to my daughter is this….I will be the man you need me to be. I will show you what a man is supposed to be so that you know what to look for one day. I will teach you to pray, how to win, and how to lose. But mostly, through my example I set by how I treat you, I will show you how to love unconditionally.
You were born at 9:46 pm. You were 19 inches and 7.5 pounds…
and it was love at first sight.
I love you today, tomorrow, and forever,
Dad
Dad of Girls 