Girls (especially Lindley),
Lindley, your first two weeks of school were special. I want to write about it…and I will. However, the start of your school career was shrouded in scandal for me. I don’t really know what the lesson in all of this is…but I wanted to write about it so I try to figure it out.
People’s decisions often blindside you. The very ones that you think are incapable of making significant mistakes always seem to let you down. Your mom has done it, I have done it, my friends have done it….but the scale of our mistakes haven’t been that bad. Unfortunately, some of the people I have worked with over the past few years screwed up in bad ways…and very publicly. If I said that it these mistakes hadn’t challenged me, I would be lying. Their mistakes aren’t your fault, but they can be your problem.
I’m a sinner. We all are, but I want to say that. I’m not perfect. I try to surround myself with people who want to be better…who try to something beyond normal. The problem with people like that is they are driven by something…and figure out what drives them is always a challenge, but so very important. I live in a sad place, mentally….at times. Now, I’m a person who believes that happiness a choice and I am a happy person. Through all of life’s troubles, I have intentionally chosen happy. But one of the main forces that drives me in life isn’t success, but rather the fear of failure. I’m terrified of it. I don’t want to suck at anything.
Fear. It drives me. It wakes me in the middle of the night. It breaks my concentration. It disturbs my thoughts. It is a tough way to live.
That is just what drives me, though. Some people might be driven by money, hunger, and other’s are driven by a desire to be accepted by others. You have to know what drives people and what makes them tick.
Girls, you have to be careful about being around those who have a desire to be accepted by others. You never need to adopt that mindset. Acceptance by others isn’t a bad thing, until you start considering whose acceptance it is, why you want it, and what you are doing to gain it. Never sacrifice your principles for others….find those who accept you for who you are and help you to try to be better. YOU MUST BE CAREFUL OF THIS MINDSET. Rather than thinking like this…here are some things I want to tell you.
- Really, the only acceptance you need is from Christ. Beyond that, it doesn’t matter.
- Know what your principles are and stick to your guns.
- Surround yourself with people who are better than you. If you find yourself in a crowd of people who don’t push you to be better or challenge you to grow, you are in the wrong place and with the wrong people.
- Do what is right. NOTHING, NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS. Right is often hard and you will lose friends…but they probably are the friends who aren’t making you better.
- When you make a decision based on “being right”, get some separation from the decisions and really think about the foundation of your thinking. Maybe you aren’t as right as you think you are. Just reflect on your choices. It is a powerful exercise and one that will make you better.
- Accept that you will make mistakes. When you fail, pick yourself up off the ground, and start over. DO NOT blame others or make excuses. If you did wrong, own it. If you performed poorly, admit it…to yourself…and others! Owning your mistakes is a powerful thing.
- There will be times that you will be on an island. Here’s what I mean…people will see you, but they can’t help you. These are times when you are making critical decisions. During those times, read your Bible. Pray. There may not be people on your island, but God is there with you…he is always there. The answer is often found in the Bible. God’s timing is miraculous…read your Bible!
- No matter what….no matter how tough the decision is or how hard it is to make…or even no matter how bad you mess up…
I will always love you. I will always be watching. I will always be your fan. When you mess up, I will never be prouder than when you pick yourself up off the ground.
Dad of Girls 