Girls,
I love Christmas. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. I also love trying to do unique things for you that will be very meaningful to you later in life. I figure that we will have about 10 or 11 years of “Elf on the Shelf” and I wanted to tell you about how we are doing it….
As time goes, you will get a card when your elf arrives and leaves. I’m going to ask different people to write you these cards and these people will be people who are very near and dear to your mother and me, but also people who I think can teach you something.
The first one is Bobbie Pharis. Let me tell you some words that describe Bobbie Pharis…..
Teacher. Mother. Courageous. Fighter.
As a teacher, I’ve never seen one better. Girls, teacher is a pretty big word. She is the best teacher to walk the hallways of MTHS over the past 15 years and that is a pretty big statement. The only one who has ever come close is Ms. Lisa (you will get a card from her before long). The role of teacher can come in many different forms and she has also taught me a lot in many different ways. You can see that from the previous paragraph and the ones to follow.
Now, let me tell you she aggravates the crap out of me and she loves it! The feeling is mutual. There are days she will walk up to me, smile that little sly, crooked smile and say, “I’ve got a little problem.” Typically, this means I need to sit down because whatever she is going to tell me can likely turn into a big problem (the bad side of being a principal is that you are always 15 seconds away from the best day turing to the worst). She loves saying that to me. Truth be told, I love it when she says that to me. It means she is present…that she is still here…and that there is no one I’d rather go through adversity with than her. Below is why…
Your mother and I are lucky. We have some people in our lives who model for us what being a parent is like. For whatever reason (mainly because I think her ex-husband was an idiot), Ms. Pharis got a divorce a few years back. I can’t imagine the pain that comes with that. I don’t want to imagine it. However, she took it on the chin and kept on. She kept on for one reason….her kids. She kept her focus on providing and taking care of them. After all, they are the most important thing to her. With that laser like focus she has, she kept moving forward. As a single parent, she has put herself through college to earn her masters degree and never missed an event that her kids participated in during that time. You will learn how difficult that was later in life. But this Saturday, she graduates. This Saturday is also the day that you will get your elf. She has sacrificed for her kids more than she should, but I hope that I learn to emulate that. She truly is a great parent and determined person.
The biggest thing I hope you learn from her is courage. As sad as it is to say, it is true….she probably shouldn’t be here. A few years ago, she found out that she had breast cancer and it was labeled as stage 4. Do some reading….that isn’t a real good place to be or an easy label to carry. Most people would start saying goodbye and would resign themselves to the fact that life isn’t going to be going on longer.
Not Ms. Bobbie. She might lose, but she was going to fight. Kids, she fought with all she had. It was the most courageous performance I have ever seen. She lost her hair. She missed so many days at school. She felt like crap. The thing that set her apart was knowing that she had to go through it and that she couldn’t get around that. She might lose, but since she had to go through it she might as well give it hell while she was doing it. She was scared, but she still fought. That is courage. She lost a lot, but she never lost her smile on the outside. Scared of what might become of her, she kept fighting. I know this is a quote somewhere, but I can’t remember….but here is what she taught me during this time. No matter how bad life gets, you get up, show up, and you never give up. That is courage. That, my dear girls, is what you can learn from her.
That courage continues to manifest itself in many different ways. The cancer might be gone, but the stubbornness still exists. She is firm, bull-headed about what she believe in, and loving all at the same time.
I hope you take the qualities and make them your own. I don’t know where she will be when you get older, but look her up. She will always have some good stories on me….and some on you. When you do something at home, she is usually the first person at school to know.
She can teach you so much. She can teach you the good and bad around loyalty, she can teach you to be a friend, and she can teach you how to fight like hell.
Whatever you do, learn to fight like hell.
I will love you today, tomorrow, and forever…
Daddy
Dad of Girls 