There was a kid who grew up in our school. His was 15…and he just died.
15.
Full of life. Always a smile. Always a hand shake. Always a courteous greeting.
Life has no timelines that we can see, but it certainly has an expiration date. Life…my life, your life….it is going to end. We don’t know when that expiration date is, but take heed…it is coming.
As we grow, we think that day is far off. When you are your age (4 and 6), it seems like it is an eternity away. Chances are…
This won’t happen to you….but let’s talk about chances.
The decisions we make ulimtately determine our future. There really aren’t a lot of choices. We constantly choose a path. You can choose right or wrong. You can choose easier or harder. You can choose safe or risky. You can choose happy or sad.
All of those little choices pave your way.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say you go out to a party and people are drinking. With each drink that everyone takes, you move closer to impaired judgement. With each drink, the people around you (and you if you are drinking) move closer to lightening up, cutting loose, saying things that you don’t typically say, doing things you don’t typically do…
That is what drinking does.
Yes. I’m guilty. I did it. I do it.
When I was a teenager, we did things we weren’t supposed to do. Did Dad and his friends go out and drink beers? I’m ashamed to say we did. Did that lead us to doing some dumb things? Yep. Sure did. Do you know how many times I got behind the wheel of a vehicle while drinking?
Never. Not a single time.
Do you know how many times I was allowed to get into the vehicle with someone who was drinking?
Never. Not a single time.
For all the wrongs we did, we made sure of one right. We would always have a driver. ALWAYS. No excuses, no exceptions.
A few weeks ago we went to Callie’s graduation party. I had a couple of drinks. Literally two. When I left, I didn’t drive. I was fine, but there was still risk. What if I got pulled over? It would be in the newspaper and I would lose my job? What if I had a wreck, someone got hurt, and was just over the limit?
The rest of my life would be spent in prison.
Think about that. Do you see the small differences? What did I do to remove risk?
I was smart. I made a pact with your Mom before I left….I can’t drive home.
Let’s explore some other situations…
Let’s say you are at a party and someone starts using drugs. What has happened to the chances of trouble? They just went up, significantly. Next, others start jumping in and and participating. Next, someone take out a cellphone and takes pictures.
Each one of those steps starting leading to significantly more trouble? How?
First, drugs are illegal. If the police show up, a lot of people are in trouble.
Second, more than one person started participating. That means more people with impaired judgement (increased risks). That means more people will be in vehicles on the way home with impaired judgement (increased risks). That means there might be someone who gets behind the wheel with impaired judgement (increased risks because you might be in the car with them or you might share the road with them).
Third, someone got their cellphone out. Let’s say they post that to social media. Let’s say you are in the background of the picture, but you might not be using drugs. You know what? You will still be guilty by association. Now, let’s say you apply for a job 5 years later and that picture resurfaces. That job you might have went to college for or the job you might have worked so hard for over a certain time…it is gone. Believe me, we search social media trying to find that needle in the haystack for each employee. If I see someone on social media drinking, I don’t hire them. Plus, you can live a perfect live and have a perfect reputation, but that picture changes all of it.
Do you know how you 100% don’t get pregnant? Don’t have sex.
Do you know how you 100% don’t kill yourself or a friend by drinking and driving? Don’t drink.
This philosophy is simple. Every decisions matters. Every decision you make will decrease or increase your chances of something happening.
I wanted to be a coach….a good one. That meant I had to spend time studying. That meant I had to spend time at practice. That meant that I had to do things that nobody else would be willing to do. Saturday nights in college were spent watching college football games and watching them over and over. Christmas breaks were spent watching videos and reading books for baseball season. Labor Day when I was teaching was spent creating practice plans and preparing for a season that was 5 or 6 months away. Those decisions increase changes for success.
Now, I’m overweight. I made a bunch of decisions that led me to that. Those decisions could lead to more negative consequences. I have to recognize that.
You can apply this to any aspect of your life. You should.
Let me also warn you of this….
If you want to make the right decisions, you are going to need to find courage….and be willing to stand alone when no one else is willing to stand with you.
That, however, is where develop character.
You can do it. I know you can.
Love you,
Dad
Dad of Girls 