This is what you chase…

Girls,

Once again, it has been a minute since I wrote you.  Things have been going really well for both of you.  Avaleigh is entering the 6th grade, Lindley is entering the 5th grade, and your Mom just started another job.  Everyone is doing good.

Over the past few months…especially the past year…I have been in a difficult space.  It’s been a hard three years.  The last year…for whatever reason….has been the most difficult.  When I tell you that I have struggled, those words do my struggles no justice.  

It has been hard.

There were times I just didn’t want to work.  

There were times I just didn’t want to go to church.

There were time I just didn’t want to do anything.

There were times….most of them…that I just didn’t know what to do.

Let me tell you what I learned…

When you don’t know what to chase, chase your happiness.  Once, I heard it called “pursue yourself.”

Work on being the best version of yourself that you can be.  Don’t live for others. Don’t worry about their opinion of you.  Work hard everyday….and only be dissatisified with you if you didn’t.  If you try hard and something doesn’t go the way you want it, chin up and toughen up….and try again the next day.  

Work on being the happiest version of you.  Work on being the healthiest version of you.  Work on being the most present version of you.  Be the most healed, the most confident…..

When you chase those things, the road you need to go down presents itself.  I decided three months ago to stop chasing others opinion of me and start chasing my own.

I’ve never been in a better place.